5 mistakes to avoid when writing your essay introduction

Your IELTS Task 2 essay introduction is the most critical paragraph of your essay. It acts as an attention-grabber for your assessor, proving immediately that you understand the question prompt and you know exactly how you will answer it. On the other hand, a defective introduction can significantly lower your Task Response and Coherence/Cohesion scores. To write a qualitative essay introduction, you must learn to identify and avoid the key defects that separate a high-scoring introduction from poor ones. Before I address these 5 key defects, let me tell you the three top qualities of a good essay introduction: 

• A good IELTS essay introduction must be concise, containing three or four sentences

• A good IELTS essay introduction must accurately paraphrase the question prompt; poor or weak paraphrases and synonyms must be avoided.

• A good IELTS essay introduction must contain a clear thesis statement.

Poor introductions often result in low Writing scores because they include a combination of the following defects - issues and errors that you must avoid:

Number 1, using the wrong words in your paraphrase

This defect occurs when the introduction changes the core meaning or scope of the original question prompt, often through poor word choices or exaggeration. For instance, if the question prompt says that on "non-violent crimes are becoming more common worldwide," a defective paraphrase might ignore this specific focus and inaccurately state that "the issue of crime in general is being debated" Here's another example: If an essay question states that "potential negative impacts of drug use outweighs the health benefits of controlled prescription", a poor introduction might exaggerate the prompt by claiming that "legalizing drugs will worsen the problem of violent crime all over the world."

2. Unnecessary Verbosity

This defect involves using overly long, vague, or filler phrases that waste words and prevent the introduction from getting straight to the point. Some candidates fall into this trap because they want to make up the 250 word limit. But that is not really a smart approach. There are better things to do to achieve the word-limit target. Verbose essay introductions often takes the form of lengthy preambles or obvious, unnecessary context. For example, instead of a direct paraphrase, a writer might include a filler like this: "It is a complicated issue that has many different layers of complexity and history that must be discussed by everyone..." This defect of verbose writing can also weaken the thesis, such as using the wordy and indirect phrasing: "This essay will show that the computer is a double-edged sword that has good and bad sides, and I will argue..." I have a personal rule that I follow when writing. If a sentence is longer than 30 words, it's too long. It's best to cut off some words, or break the sentence into two separate components. 

3. Multiple Grammar Errors

Grammatical mistakes in your essay introduction are a serious defect, immediately raising read flags and telling the examiner to watch out for MORE errors; this will definitely impact your Grammar score. These often include errors in subject-verb agreement or fragmented sentence structure. For instance, if an essay question prompt is writing in present simple tense with words like 'think' (many people think that), or 'argue', or 'suggest', some candidates, when writing their paraphrases change the tense to past tense and write things like 'many individuals opined that'.  Another example of a grammar error to avoid is with subject-verb agreement: "The problem of juvenile delinquency are increasing, which is why we must act". This is a case of incorrect subject-verb agreement,, it demonstrates poor language control, and can result in low scores.

4. Absent, wrong and irrelevant thesis

The thesis statement must directly address the specific question(s) asked (e.g., agree/disagree, reasons/solutions, or discuss both views). In some cases, candidates forget to write their thesis, or they omit some critical components that should have been included, or they add some unnecessary words or ideas. A thesis is defective if it avoids the central topic or proposes an answer that goes outside the prompt’s parameters. For example, if the prompt asks to discuss a "global legal system vs. national laws," an irrelevant thesis might be: "I will argue that having a police force is more important than the specific laws used." Another common error is expanding the scope, such as when a prompt focuses on "non-violent criminals," but the thesis states: "I believe that alternative forms of punishment should be given to all criminals, even the violent ones."

5. Long and Confusing Sentences

While grammar may technically be correct, sentences that are too long (generally over 30 words) become confusing, making the writer's meaning unclear and forcing the reader to re-read for comprehension. This directly violates the principle of clarity. For example, a 48-word sentence like: "Many people think that putting lawbreakers in prison is not the best and most effective way to permanently resolve the problem of crime and that the government is wasting a lot of money and time that could be spent on better things for the country and its citizens" is too long and convoluted. This kind of sentence is better split into two, and some words should be eliminated: Many people believe that jailing criminals cannot stop crime. To them, the government is wasting public funds that could be used more appropriately in other economic sectors.  Similarly, a sentence over 30 words, such as: "The right to vote is a very important part of any democracy in the world, and everyone should be able to vote and express their opinion on government," should be broken down into two simpler, clearer ideas.

By focusing on identifying these five common mistakes, you will be much better equipped to select the defective introduction in the following quiz.

If you've learnt something from this piece, I have a quiz for you to try your hands on. The quiz will test and improve your ability to identify poor introductions. As you study the options, in the quizzes, use that opportunity to enrich your vocabulary and improve your essay writing skills. Click the link below to try the quiz: 

Link to Introduction Writing Quiz 2(crime)